British Christmas Jokes and Riddles

How do Sheep greet each other at Christmas?

    A Merry Christmas to ewe...

What part of a clock is always old?

    The second hand...

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?

    Santa Jaws...

Where do you take a sick horse?

    In a Horse-pital...

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?

    A christmas quacker!..

How do you communicate with fish?

    You drop them a line...

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas Tree?

    A Pine-apple...

What's bad tempered and goes with custard?

    Apple grumble

Where does mistletoe go to become famous?

    "Holly" wood

Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?

Rude-olph!

What did one eye to the other?

    Between you and me something smells...

What does a vampire have for breakfast?

    Readyneck...

What does a cat in the dessert have in common with Christmas?

    Sandy claws...